Yolo read's a few of his works at Bound To Be Read Books

Bound To Be Read Books is an independent bookstore in East Atlanta Village (EAV). They host a writing group, book club, author events, and an open-mic night on a regular basis.

Notes from the Underground...."I hear he's got a big black..."

I hear He's got a big black....
By Yolo Akili

After following up some blogs today, I came across the media blitz over that Guy from College Hill who has nude pics on the net now. Many of the blogs talked about how, even though it was horrible that he got nude pics released, at least he was hung. I kind of cruised over that statement the first time until I was like...wait...what if he wasn't hung? What if his dick wasn't however big it is? Would it then be a source of shame as opposed to celebration? Would his self worth as a sexual being be diminished in lieu of having a phallus that was deemed "ordinary" or "small?"

That brought me to the big dick conversation that many people are having. I know for many of us, it’s a hard conversation to have, but we really need to talk more about it. we need to talk about the way in which maleness and sexual worth is tied up to how long, thick and wide your dick is and how that has traumatized, wounded and really created a culture of insecurity and pain in men who have different dick sizes, those who do not have dicks, and those who define their sexuality primarily through a phallic-centric lens. In other words those of us who believe, sex = dick, the dick is the center, and all other acts outside of penetration are just foreplay ya’ll know what I’m talking about.

So let’s have talking points, shall we?

1). I’ve talked to a lot of men, straight and gay alike, who have talked about how through the consumption of pornography they learned that their sexual valor would be defined by how big their dick was and how hard they could fuck. Many of the men talked about being really unsure about their penis size, and feeling insecure about sexual performance.

African American men particularly, expressed a lot of concern over not being a "real black man" because they don’t have long "jungle dicks", (they’re words, not mine), this in itself had further created a disconnect from their bodies They felt "less than" and that lack of fulfillment in themselves in many of these scenarios' led to a lot of abusive and controlling behaviors towards their partners. They were especially jealous of any other male attention their partners received. What was the fear about? He might have a bigger dick than me. Of course this is connected to internalize racism for me, because where did this stereotype of the "big black dick" come from? It came from racism, and the fear of black male sexuality.

2). Interestingly enough, that stereotype, which I believe is so destructive, is embraced by many black men to be the truth. Black men just have bigger dicks right? Contrary enough I’ve slept with enough black men to know that our penis sizes vary.
I also understand that one of the reasons black men hold onto the big black dick theory is because it is in many ways an attempt to replace the patriarchal masculinity that racism has not allowed them access to (institutional power, etc). What’s jacked up is that the embrace and upholding of this still fuels racism and the murdering of black male bodies everyday. It’s a no-win situation.

3). I’ve also spoken with Trans-men who do not have penis' and they speak of the desire for a phallus; and feel that because they do not have the appendage there is something intrinsically missing about their maleness. I’ve spoken with older men and disabled men, who because of prostrate cancer or another condition cannot "get it up" or "squirt it out" and now are struggling with the idea that thier maleness is in question and thier sexual worth is null and void but is maleness really all about the dick? Can we make our maleness, our male sexuality, about something else besides the dick to help us all have better sex lives? I wonder what would it look like if our manhood as men was not measured in inches? Can a man who is impotent, or who has hard time getting erections still have a rich and healthy sex life? Can he still be celebrated and honored as a sexual being? Can he value himself? Can we create a world where comparison of bodies in this "standardized norm" does not make someone less than? How can we imagine sex so that our dicks are not just weapons we plow through someone, and so that no matter what we have, we can love and appreciate our bodies and gain and give sexual pleasure?

I believe that we who identify as men have a lot of work to do in relationship to our bodies and to sex. We have to find ways to have the difficult conversations that are necessary for healing about our dicks, dick size-and learn to build a sense of inner sexual worth regardless of where we fall on the spectrum. We have to learn to embrace our bodies fully in all their complexities and differences in order to experience the full realm of possibilities and pleasures they can bestow upon us. We have to learn to explore other mediums of pleasure that are not simply about wham bam thank you Sam, and cum on someone's face. And we have to talk about women who have penises too.

And let me be clear that I, myself, don’t exist outside these cannon. I am, and am always doing intentional work ( journaling, affirmations, personal history writing) to help myself develop a sense of self worth that isn’t about how big my dick is, or that I have a dick at all. I want to experience my full humanity – and for me that means not allowing sexual adeptness to be the crutch of my sensuality.

I don’t know. Just thoughts. I would love to deepen this conversation.

What do you think?

Yolo

Notes from the underground....Old White men, Young Black boys; & the sexual Legacy of slavery

As apart of my series on writers I'm presenting this piece by Yolo Akili,

Old White men ,Young Black Boys; & the Sexual Legacy of Slavery: Part 1

by Yolo Akili

In my experience, it's been one of the most unspoken taboos in both gay and African American communities; it is white male’s consumption and fascination with black male bodies.

My first real experience with this was when I was at Arby's in Midtown, years ago, when I just moved to Atlanta. I was sitting in Arby's eating a grilled cheese, and from nowhere this middle aged white man, maybe in his 50-60's, comes and stands above me, lurking down upon me a like a parasite longing for new blood. His behavior initially puzzled me, I asked "Can I help you?" and he just stared at me and licked his lips. Then he flashed me several dollar bills. Recognizing this was some sort of sexual innuendo that I had absolutely no interest in, I grabbed my food and walked out of the restaurant. At this point, I did not know that the Spring Street Arby's and the subsequent area around the club 708 is space where many sex worker, most of them African American boys, & trans women are solicited. I had no idea as I would learn later, through much of my work with HIV prevention, that most of those young African American boys and trans-women would report that the majority of their clients are middle aged white men. At first I thought little of it. I mean, why wouldn’t the majority of them be middle aged white men, who in this country would be more likely to have the disposable income? As I continued my studies in African American literature and history I found a few things that took me somewhere else. Where to you might ask? Why to Slavery my dear friend.

When Reading over various slave narratives in undergrad and beyond, their is evidence to suggest that young black boys, and black men of all ages, were often forced to have sexual relations with their white male slave owners. While the innuendos are mild, and likely doctored by both historians and African American studies professors who fear exposing such a history that they perceive would further "shame" black men, the likelihood of such things happening doesn't at all seem far fetched. Because same sex desire is an expression of humanity that conforms itself to the structural social hierarchy of the day, it would make sense that for many white male slave owners, corrupted by racism, bigotry, prejudice and drunk off notions of power would use black male bodies, of which they had authority and control, as a site to express there same sex desire. It would also make sense that, like most of the social patterns from that not too long ago period, that those patterns persist in dynamics today. This has hardly ever been spoken of but as James Baldwin would Say: The consumption of young black male bodies by white men, is "The Evidence of Things Unseen."

This is not just in gay community, oh no. I think about the porn industry, of which I’ve been doing a lot of research on, and the very famous series "My Wife Likes Black Dick". In this porn series, white men look on as their white wives are penetrated, often aggressively by black men. The white men are present in the space when this happens, and in some clips, the white male looks on with fascination "saying" that's right, take that Black dick/you like that black dick don't you?". Fawning over the male’s performance and focusing on that "big black dick". In other scenarios, the white male is seen crying or sobbing as he witnesses his white wife penetrated-and while she makes comments on how his "little white dick" is nothing like this. So why would white men want to consume a product of a conjured storyline of having their wives penetrated by a "black dick?" How is this not projected homo-erotic desire? Let me make this clear, because unfortunately, many of us may be going there already-this is not some diatribe to suggest that white men should not date black men. What it is, is an invitation for both white men and black men, to explore further the relationship and the historic social, spiritual pain and eroticization that exists between us. What it is, is an opportunity for us to understand that patterns of sexual exploitation are not so rapidly dissolved, and maybe ponder, that the consumption of black male bodies by white men and white culture is not only almost always exploitative, it is, in a male context, homo-erotic; it is an expression of the white male unconscious desire for the black male body, eroticized as other, and as "jungle dick fuckers".

There is a lot more to be explored here, this doesn't even scratch the surface. On the next blurb I’m writing on interracial relationships I hope to go deeper..

But I think this maybe might open up a chapter...Much more to come…but for now..
What do you feel?

For more of Yolo's blogs, and other writings: Check out Envisionthis-yolo.blogspot.com via Yolothepoet.com

Yolo - The Poet.

Last week I go the chance to meet one of my literary idols, Yolo Akili. He was up in New York for a for a conference about the role of men in feminist empowerment and support. This was my first time meeting the poet, since we have been friends on various social networks for a while hence. I took the chance to take him around the city and show him all the hot spots when I could make due time. Unfortunately I didn't have enough time, or proper equipment to record a poem live for you but to make up i asked if he could put a few tracks off of his CD up on Immem so I could shrea with you all. here you go.

The description of his first album goes as this, "Yolo Akili's first album simply entitled Yolo-is a jounrey into another universe. Drawing on themes of magic, feminism, metaphysics and gender and racial disparities, his work is definitely a must hear!" I'm down for the cause brother and you should be also.

Application Denied.wma - Yolo Akili

The Neighborhood Association.wma - Yolo Akili

Black Men A Dialectical.wma - Yolo Akili

For more of Yolo check out: Yolo the poet